Reflecting on the past 2 months

I have started work for nearly 2 months now. I think it is good time to ask myself what I have accomplished thus far and what I intend to achieve in the critical 6 months period ahead.

Things completed/ ongoing:
1. EJS pilotage plan
2. F_SS exhibition/ *** learning Festival
3. intro to course/ recap on basic theory
4. some admin and logistics stuff
5. knowing people =)

Am I happy? i think I ought to be happy because there are many more good things that are happening than negative things =) But it seemed that I am always very mean to myself... am I expecting too much and pushing myself too hard? I may need to slow down a little and learn to be grateful for the little things in life...

I should be feeling very happy because:
1. I have achieved my first class honours (Academic goal for undergraduate studies)
2. I have secured coomendation award for best performance for II and a Book prize
3. I missed the medal but this is life.... I so wanted to get the medal but I knew that the odds were against me. I regretted not putting in the effort to fill in the form - that caused me another award... well, I am happy that I am honest to myself cos' I do not have a nomination in mind.

Undergraduate life i over so no point looking back and regret missing the awards. I have secured what i deserved and I should be happy! Why am i feeling neutral? I am too competitive... I want to win every single award if i could... i recognise that my desrei for drive and ambition would cause neglect to others and turn some off.... I have to continue to learn to manage this competitiive streak in me! Show more empathy. Be grateful and be sensitive to others..... If i am not satisfied with my achievements... 99 percent below me would be worse off... but they are ceertainly not! life is cannot be quantified by the number of awards earned but by the positive impacts we have on other. People remember us for what we are, how we led our lives and not the number of awards we have achieved.... I need to look at the macro view of things... learn to be grateful and be satisfied with life as I am already doing very well =) there's no end to competition... there's no ultimate FIRST position.

Opportunities: right in front of me at the moment! SEIZE IT! I shall not be wishy washy!!! I want to be the class president becasue I know I will do my best to serve the batch. I need not worry about my 'performance'. I just need to be sincere to people. do what is right and all things will fall in place. This is possibly one of the rare chance for me to overcome the system. I should GRAB it! Am i being too sensitive that some people have doubts on my capabilities? Time will show. For now, I look up to Nelson as a role model for leading the class. he glorifies god. I am not a christian but my purpose is to make my family and friends proud. I want to lead because this is a chance to put myself to test and I will show that I am competent. I did it before. There was a short disruption and I withdrew. Now, I am ready to go again. I want to do singapore proud. I will defend this land proudly with my life. I will do my best to train myself so that I am always ready to serve and lead.

Now, I pray that I am blessed with good mates. Excellent PR, Patience, Sympathy, Knowledge, Fairness and justice. I want to serve and influence. I want to be the president because I am willing to sacrifice to make a positive impact on others and lead my batch to become one of the best performing batch! This is NOT for any personal gain. There is no politics involved and no bad feelings. I hate politics. I treasure friendships and camaraderie.

May I be blessed!