Two Years have passed

Amazing, two years have passed since I last blogged. not sure why but I guess it this reflective mood during the year end that makes me want to pen  my thoughts.

Have accomplished quite a few bit at work and with my family. Very thankful for everything I have today. I will cherish.

Today, I made a decision to help a colleague get over a difficult period. I hope I did the right thing. All that I wish for is that the person would learn his lesson and make good on his promises to those who cared for him. I hope that my little help to him would make a difference to his life. I wish I could do more but I ain't God and it is just not right to over extend his kindness.

God Bless my family and friends!

Reflections of 2012

As 2012 comes to a close. it's time to look back and take stock of what have happened and what's next for 2013.

Personal life:

Have been married for a year and life is great. Being able to live with someone that I love and to care for her is something I do not take for granted. Now that she is overseas for a year, I will see how best to organise my time and ensure that I make best use of time at work and at home. Some re-orientation is possibly needed. I will spend more time with my family, especially my ageing grandpa. Also, this is probably a good time to catch up with friends, be active. Next, I shall make a commitment to run at least 3 times a week. Exercise keeps me healthy and helps me to relax.

The biggest joy to the family this year is probably the arrival of my niece! 3 weeks old now. ha. though still sleeping through most part of the day but just observing her while she is sleeping is therapeutic. So looking forward to her growing up and I wish my brother and sis in law all the joy and fun in bringing up a cute little princess. may she be healthy, kind and intelligent.

Otherwise, I am thankful that family members are healthy and happy. sometimes, nothing too exciting can be a blessing too. If possible, I hope to go for a short family trip with my family in first quarter of next year.


Work:

Feels happy and accomplished to have completed 2 courses and received distinguished graduate awards. Moving on to the next phase of my career.. daunting and exciting at the same time. There are a few priorities at work now:

1. Getting to know the people, gain acceptance and trust, get plugged into the new environment
2. Getting to know the office, the work procedures and the systems.
3. Train the team and prepare the team to meet objectives.
4. Be involved in important projects - anything exciting that I can take up?

What my boss says: (1) Spend time with the people, grow and develop people (2) Stay healthy (3) delegate tasks that you find boring to other people =) 

2013 is probably a critical year for me to work hard and look for opportunities to accelerate my career. I will give it a try.

Finance:

Nothing much exciting. Doing fine. got to find means to accelerate and grow wealth. action plan needed. challenging macro environment. 

just feel like writing something

As i logged in, I saw that my last post was about one and a half month ago. How time passes.

Completed my course and earned my badge. Went to U.S. and came back. All these happened in such a short time. Know where I'm heading to next, part happy & excited and part worried that it would be a steep learning curve for me. Then again, looking at those who had passed through this stage, I know that I can do pretty well. I just got to set goals and be very focused on working towards achieving my goals. I am sure I will do well with good company and support.

In this current course, pretty happy that I got to enlarge my social circle and meet some pretty awesome people. How that this would be a enjoyable 5 weeks that i could enlighten myself. Sometimes, I start to wonder if I should stay for long in this organisation. I must say that the people are generally great and I probably cannot find such a great bunch of people out there. The training opportunities are avast and there is so much responsibility to take on. So, what am I thinking of? Maybe it is this thought that it is a lot more exciting out there. anyway, i just pray that all will be safe and well for the next few years to come.

something which hit me hard yesterday was what my aunt shared with me that her new job only pays her 1k plus which is less than half of what she used to earn. shocked, I would say. shocked that given that she is a graduate at her era of early 1980s and yet she never applied a job with her degree qualification... seemed like she could not handle the stress... so what happened back then? why did she not get married since she is was young, intelligent and good-natured person. Why? with her current income, can she sustain the house and grandpa's health expenditure? i think i have to start the conversation and ask them some tough questions... i'm worried if they have saved enough for old age. i'm just hope to be of some help to them as I find that they are lonely and possibly needs help in making some decision... i also don't wish to regret when it is too late.

for now, i can foresee that the road in the  near future is going to be tough. mum is likely going to suffer from some illness given her very static lifestyle and lazy self.. i'm kind of angry with her. She has been lucky her entire life to my dad as her husband and marry into such a good family. yet, she doesn't seem to at least take responsibility to take care of herself and others. sometimes, i wonder is this selfish or stupid? Since young, my brother and I were taken care of by ah gong and ah ma. my mum practically did nothing to take care of us... should i really believe that some people are just born with good life?  she has never attempted to educate me whether academically or in values. if not for ah gong ah ma, i will be crap today.

Looking at my two aunts who are single.. more problems lie ahead. the younger aunt is possibly suffering from some personality disorder and is darn difficult to get along with. she appeared self-centered, protective, uncompromising and hot-headed. sometimes, I blame my grandma for their upbringing.... could it be that ah ma was over protective that resulted in the current state of my aunts? why?

i have a simple wish, that is that everyone in the family can be healthy and learn to love each other, help each other and care for each other. it is quite a burden to worry about them.

A new role; a new beginning

Amazing! It has been two years since my last post. Just thankful that the previous entries still exist for memory sake. Time flies... so much have changed over two years.

Ah ma passed away 10 Jan 2011. She left us but she will always be remembered by all of us forever. it was a challenging period for the family emotionally. she is just so important to us that her passing on left a huge vacuum in the family. she had been in poor health for the past few years so maybe it is indeed a relief for her that she is now in a new place in heaven watching over the family. this was the most painful event for me... even till today, whenever I think of ah ma, I cant help but cry. Indeed, everyone of us missed her so much. the day that hemorrhage hit her, I will always remember. I hug her in my arms and supported her on the bed. she vomited. she was in a daze but I did not expect that that would be her last conscious moment. She passed on within a week. it was my greatest regret that she could not attend my wedding in Oct. I wish she was with us. I really wished that she was there o share our joys..... more than a year has passed since. my grandpa has adjusted well, so have my aunts and dad. I'm glad that we remained strong during this emotionally challenging period.

Now, i am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my niece in late Nov or early Dec! we cant wait for her arrival. Just praying that all will be well for sis in law and bro. Something I wish to do is to also bring ah gong for a short trip or a very good meal. I just want to make best use of time and cherish the time together with him and the family.

My dearest wife is overseas for masters programme and I look forward to seeing her in U.S. in 5 weeks time. Looking forward to her return next year and I hope to plan another two trips to visit her in U.S. hope that she is safe and enjoying her education.

As for my work, nothing extraordinary. Going to a new place in a new role. Quite a lot to learn and to catch up. my wish this time round is to graduate as distinguished student of the class. placed second at the moment, hope to maintain. It would be quite a disappointment if I were to miss this great opportunity to gain some recognition. Hope the world is with me! But well, I can expect external factors to upset the balance.. we shall see. but please, I have worked hard and I believe that I am deserving. Losing this placing would just mean that the ranking is staged (as commonly done). please... may I be truly blessed this round. I have missed quite a few opportunities in life, please don't allow this chance to slip.
  

GOAL

TOP 3 in the course.

I will b e the very best as I always aim to be. The star is my motivation. I shall achieve.

it has been 10 months since my post

it has been 10 months since my last post. well 10 months... not exactly a very long period of time but so much has happened... both at work and at home.

got my bwc. closed up as ano. accomplished quite a few things within the squadron.. minute in nature but i guess it all adds up.. work wise, i would say that it had been fruitful, eventful and quite satusfying at times although there were challenges. Once again, at I'm at the junction of deciding what's next.. well not exactly.. may be it doesn't matter what I choose cos the choice does not really lies with me.. I know what I want but this time round, I may not be able to get what I want.. all said abt the system in place, all said about how I feel. time to move more.

I guess what is critical for me now is to decide how I can make the best out of whatever the outcome is... NO or Aops. these are very different roles and the experience is likely to be vastly different. there are some comforting factors if I do not become Aops. NO is indeed a high calling, a role entrusted with heavy respsonsibilities, a position where many skills will be honed, when performed well, it is a role that demands envy and respect.. not easy at all. i recognise that. I guess that it is indeed an honour to have senior commanders who have faith in me to perform this role. An honour indeed and a testament to the trust they have in me. I am not too sure what I am afraid of.. what is the cause of my aprehension? I am not sure.. a fear of going through the same old things again, a fear of doing something which I think I may not be best fitted for, a fear that stems from a lack of good role model.

If I were indeed put into this position. I know I can make lemonade out of lemon. I am pretty sure that i will do the job well... but where is the passion? Am I able to make myself love this job? questionable. then, what happens to my wish to be a top PWO? I do not see that NO helps in this long term goal of mine. I am concerned.

One thing is sure, regardless of my posting, I will make the best out of it. Set goals for myself and the people under my charge. I will do well for myself and for the good of those whom I serve and I lead. I must be a good living example who exemplifies good and inspiring leadership. I will succeed. No matter where I am placed, the next appointment will be one that I make difference. I will succeed. I will leave a good and enduring leagcy.

family wise, pretty big headache. all that should be said has been said. Just hope that ah ma can get well soon and be happy for the rest of her golden years. It was heartening to see that everyone in the family rallied to give our best care to her. But it was also disheartening to observe how poor decisions were made at times and to see individual behave in less than desirable manner...

evenful 10 months. a mixed of Ups and Downs.

Life goes on. 2011 is going to be busy. I need to start making more $$$

Final Burst - I can do it!

I will aced it. Top 5. I will be as impressive as I can be. I will be as convincing as I can be. And I will deliver the presentation with a punch!

I can do it. nothing stands in my way and I will achieve it. I have come so far and I will complete it. Nothing is going to divert my attention from achieving my goal. I will do it!

Reflecting on the past 2 months

I have started work for nearly 2 months now. I think it is good time to ask myself what I have accomplished thus far and what I intend to achieve in the critical 6 months period ahead.

Things completed/ ongoing:
1. EJS pilotage plan
2. F_SS exhibition/ *** learning Festival
3. intro to course/ recap on basic theory
4. some admin and logistics stuff
5. knowing people =)

Am I happy? i think I ought to be happy because there are many more good things that are happening than negative things =) But it seemed that I am always very mean to myself... am I expecting too much and pushing myself too hard? I may need to slow down a little and learn to be grateful for the little things in life...

I should be feeling very happy because:
1. I have achieved my first class honours (Academic goal for undergraduate studies)
2. I have secured coomendation award for best performance for II and a Book prize
3. I missed the medal but this is life.... I so wanted to get the medal but I knew that the odds were against me. I regretted not putting in the effort to fill in the form - that caused me another award... well, I am happy that I am honest to myself cos' I do not have a nomination in mind.

Undergraduate life i over so no point looking back and regret missing the awards. I have secured what i deserved and I should be happy! Why am i feeling neutral? I am too competitive... I want to win every single award if i could... i recognise that my desrei for drive and ambition would cause neglect to others and turn some off.... I have to continue to learn to manage this competitiive streak in me! Show more empathy. Be grateful and be sensitive to others..... If i am not satisfied with my achievements... 99 percent below me would be worse off... but they are ceertainly not! life is cannot be quantified by the number of awards earned but by the positive impacts we have on other. People remember us for what we are, how we led our lives and not the number of awards we have achieved.... I need to look at the macro view of things... learn to be grateful and be satisfied with life as I am already doing very well =) there's no end to competition... there's no ultimate FIRST position.

Opportunities: right in front of me at the moment! SEIZE IT! I shall not be wishy washy!!! I want to be the class president becasue I know I will do my best to serve the batch. I need not worry about my 'performance'. I just need to be sincere to people. do what is right and all things will fall in place. This is possibly one of the rare chance for me to overcome the system. I should GRAB it! Am i being too sensitive that some people have doubts on my capabilities? Time will show. For now, I look up to Nelson as a role model for leading the class. he glorifies god. I am not a christian but my purpose is to make my family and friends proud. I want to lead because this is a chance to put myself to test and I will show that I am competent. I did it before. There was a short disruption and I withdrew. Now, I am ready to go again. I want to do singapore proud. I will defend this land proudly with my life. I will do my best to train myself so that I am always ready to serve and lead.

Now, I pray that I am blessed with good mates. Excellent PR, Patience, Sympathy, Knowledge, Fairness and justice. I want to serve and influence. I want to be the president because I am willing to sacrifice to make a positive impact on others and lead my batch to become one of the best performing batch! This is NOT for any personal gain. There is no politics involved and no bad feelings. I hate politics. I treasure friendships and camaraderie.

May I be blessed!